OCTOBER 4

Throughout October, Madison Film Guy will post new mini-reviews/recommendations/musings on contemporary or classic horror films to help celebrate my 31 favorite days of the year: the countdown to Halloween! Today’s film: The Green Inferno.

The Green Inferno, 2015

The Green Inferno is Eli Roth’s first big screen directorial effort since 2007’s Hostel 2. It’s the story of a group of intrepid college kids who travel to Peru to fight the man, get captured by a lost tribe of indigenous cannibals, and are—by and large—eaten. (Spoiler alert)

Here’s what I learned from The Green Inferno:

1. “Only a freshman would speak with such insolence!” It’s an actual line from the movie. Spoken without irony. So, now you have a feel for the script.

2. Apparently, there is a “lost” tribe in Peru that no other human has ever had any contact with, but that a student at a northeastern college not only knows about but can find after merely a 3-hour boat ride. Just in case you were still thinking that the script might have merit.

3. Indigenous tribe = cannibals. On that there can be no disagreement.

4. If you are at all concerned about female genital mutilation, perhaps just give money to an NGO and skip trying to do something personally to stop it.

5. There are people out there who may murder and eat all the people you know, but that does NOT mean that they aren’t your friends. Don’t judge.

And that, in a nutshell, is The Green Inferno.

Let’s just hope that Eli Roth waits another eight years before directing his next film.